My favorite things to eat are:

• ham sandwiches (zapped in the mircrowave)
• chicken nuggets (with six tatter tots)
• ice cream (with a cookie or two)
• popcorn (cooked over the stove; not microwaved)
• Coke Zero (for a cold drink) or Viennese Chocolate coffee (for a hot drink)
• rum and diet coke (for alcohol relief; I don't drink beer or wine)

Actually, the above list is not only my favorite food, this is virtually the ONLY food I eat. I haven't eaten any vegetables or fruit for years. I also haven't drunk any water or milk in years. What's keeping me alive?